From clicking to cracking


When I downloaded the training programme from the Ironman website it was a very clear document. 26 weeks, each day of each week run 1 hour, cycle two hours, swim 4k etc. I have been following it pretty well.

But it is a physical training programme, legs, arms and core. Building muscle and endurance. But nowhere is there any thing about the mental exhaustion that such an endeavour imparts on you.
And I admit that this week it has been tough. Really tough. There have been moments during the last months where I have questioned whether I would be physically able to complete this - a bad training run, another long ride that destroyed me, and then you realise you have to double it, and add a swim and a run. But this week has just sapped all motivation and desire.

Monday I got caught out in the sun so when I was supposed to do a two hour ride and hour run on Tuesday I had nothing (the wife thinks I got sun stroke). Trying to be sensible I had a bath with some Epsom salts and thought lets just recharge. Wednesday’s swim was fine, a tough session but came through it. Thursday was supposed to be a two hour cycle and an hour run, but work commitments and time meant it was just an hour run.

Not a great week before the weekend arrived and then it started to go really wrong. We were in London Friday night so I did a 11 mile along the Thames, taking in the sights. But Saturdays are supposed to be swim,cycle and run.

Then the epic fail of the long Sunday ride – leave the house at 6.30am just as the heavens opened. Thunder, lightning, rain drops the size of apples – the works. I couldn’t see at all, rivers were running everywhere so I thought ‘sod this, I have another day tomorrow’ and turned for home.
They say great sportsmen and women have the ability to put things in the past. This is one of the many reasons (lack of talent being the obvious) I will not be a great sportsman. I then wound myself up in knots for the rest of the day especially when the sun came out, about whether I should have kept going. So much so that I considered going back out.

And that brings me back to my original point, the mental strain and stress, and I don’t say it lightly, is really getting to me. This has consumed my life to the point that it is not enjoyable. I am chasing distances and times rather than enjoying the exercise.

Trying to get up today to go for my bike ride was a real effort. I did it but I don’t feel better for it, it’s just another tick on my programme.

Trying to put my finger on the cause of my anxiousness is difficult as well. What is it that is worrying me? Not finishing? Letting people down? I don’t think so, because I am in good shape. I think it is partly that I don’t get a break. The constant, relentlessness of it all is getting to me. As much as I get rest days, they are more recovery days so I can carry on again tomorrow.

To be fair I am in the hardest part of my training for the next two weeks then it tapers for five weeks, so the end is in sight. Right now I would seriously consider doing the Ironman next week if it got it done and dusted.

But it’s not.

Instead I am going to take inspiration from a poem my parents gave to me on my 18th birthday. There is a line in it that is pretty apt for both now and for when I am struggling round the course on the 15th July.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

STATMAN
Cycle distance – 100 miles
Cycle time – 7hours 10 minutes
Elevation gain – 6,700ft (actually course is only 5,700!)
Percentage of money raised – 53% THANK YOU!


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